Characters

Two simple brothers from bum f#@k Egypt, who struck big with a scratch off lottery ticket. They immediately proceeded to quit their jobs, move out of their parents’ home and purchase everything they have ever desired. Unfortunately, $5000 before taxes is not a whole hell of a lot of money, and the boys have grown accustomed to a luxury lifestyle.

He was the leader of our world’s wildlife. He fought for peace between man and beast. Now he is on sale at Homer’s Taxidermy for $49.95 and animals across the globe are coming after mankind to avenge his death!

Many wish death upon them. They were warned their wicked ways would one day catch up with them. Now they are wanted dead by woodland critters everywhere for murdering their leader during a bad psychedelic trip. Meanwhile, the rest of mankind is considered collateral damage in the animals’ blind pursuit of revenge.

Following the death of their leader, at the hands of drunken men, the woodland critters needed someone to fill the role. So, they elected Turtle for the position. There’s just one problem... Turtle is a crazy f#@k! And he will stop at nothing in his blind pursuit of revenge against humanity. Even if it means shitting on his own kind to do it.

Poseidon was a premier wrestling champion and an inspiration to the youth of America. That is, until he was forced into an early retirement due to a growing list of venereal diseases. These days Poseidon can be found emerging from the shallows of your local beach, spraying alcohol from his pores and wreaking of wacky tobacky.

He loves butts, takes naps at any given opportunity and the most exhilarating part of his day involves food. . . Seem relatable? Then this series about Barkis the dog is for you!

As the forest’s top mind in espionage, Squirrel spies on the humans and studies their behavior. He is also an astute strategist and loves “nutting” (the art of collecting hard shelled fruits). However, acorny joke aside, Squirrel takes his role in the forest serious. Not only would he sacrifice his own life to protect his home, he would bust a nut for it.